| Adult Children of Aging Parents - Health Care Crisis Prevention | | Print | |
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When there is a health-related crisis for a senior, the children find themselves in an emergency, bewildered as to getting answers quickly on complex medical related issues. These life-changing events can happen in an instant, are you prepared? We have been led to believe through the public medical the importance of staying young forever, and what better way of believing we are immortal than to deny the remote possibility that our parents may be getting older. After all, if we admit their mortality, what does that say about our fantasy of eternal youth?
Mom and dad have been taking care of each other for 60 years and are doing fine (aren’t they?). We honestly believe that should our parents need assistance from us, they will let us know. We under estimate their prideful nature, and in some cases their inability to see the advancement of the aging process. The aging process comes with roll reversals and being an adult child of an aging parent comes with awesome responsibilities and decision making.
It seems most people do not become informed until the crisis hits. As the former Program Manager for the County of Ventura, Area Agency on Aging, Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program (HICAP) I can tell you this through experience. (HICAP is a free information service for Medicare recipients and their families. This service assists with issues concerning Medicare, Medicare Supplemental Insurance and Long Term Care Insurance).
The calls I received were not, “what can I do to prevent…” or, “what can I do to ensure… “The calls were “my mother is in the hospital, and I don’t know what her insurance covers”. Or “I’ve just discovered that Medicare does not pay for mother in a nursing home, what are my options, and oh yes, she must leave the hospital tomorrow!”
When I asked the HICAP staff what they would like to accomplish in the following year, they answered that they would like to find a way to assist children of aging parents get in front of the inevitable crisis.
Why? What happens in a medical family emergency? If you are in the sandwich generation: juggling children, grand children, and husband, work and aging parents. Here are just a few problems that occur during a “parent’s medical emergency”
Depletion of family funds (not just senior – but the whole family)
Lost time at work.
Likely to grab “any services” because of the time for investigation.
Deterioration of family emotional well being.
Family caregiver’s health deteriates thus: 2 people for someone to care for.
Knowing the answers to the following questions will help you to be better prepared and in front of the crisis:
1. Does my parent have Medicare Fee for Service or a Health Care Maintenance Organization 9HMO)?
2. If they have Fee for Service, do they have a Medicare Supplemental Insurance Policy to cover the fees Medicare does not cover?
3. If they are socially active, would they like to live in an Assisted Living community?
4. Should your parent need to go to a nursing home, do you know under what circumstances Medicare would pay for the nursing home?
5. If Medicare does not pay for nursing home expenses under your parent’s situation, do you know what the options for payment are?
6. Do they have a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and do you know where it is?
7. Do you know where to go for all these questions for the answers?
REMEMBER:
To prolong being informed will not forestall the medical emergency; However, knowing the information in advance will make the life changing event less stressful for you and your loved one.
Pat Hansen, owner
Medical Maze Solutions – helping seniors and their families through life’s stransitions.
(805) 650-1178
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